Midnight prayer

Dear God

If you're out there, hear my prayer, please.

I know I'm undeserving, so I will not ask on my behalf.

Thank you for the light in my hand,

For in nights like this when it gets too dark,

I can empty my hell on these pages.

The world is silent and my spirit ebbs and flows into the night.

My mind asks for eternal rest.

I'm fighting to live...

I pray on behalf of my mother—may she never know the pain of losing her baby,

I pray on behalf of my father, whose silence is not enough to mask his love for his daughter,

I pray on behalf of my siblings—do not take their refuge away from them,

I pray for the light of my life, my baby—may he never know this pain, may he never understand it.

I am nothing,

And all these things are nothing before you,

For you are bigger than my heartache,

You are bigger than my depression,

You are bigger than my hopelessness,

You are bigger than all the demons I fight,

You are all-powerful,

And I beseech you.

Please stand beside me,

For the sake of all those who care about me,

So I may not falter and needlessly cause them anguish,

Fortify me Jehovah, so even when I can't find meaning in my existence,

You can still use me to serve those you love

In Jesus' name,

Amen.